In light of the recent Chris Brown/Rihanna fiasco, I have been pondering the self worth of women.  There are too many in my life that have no idea how amazing they are and the great things they deserve.  Because of their jaded self image, they settle for much less than they want and put up with much more than is necessary.  To catch you up, the whiz kid hip-hop star was recently arrested for assaulting his green eyed love interest.  Brown allegedly received a text message from an undisclosed female wanting to see him.  Rihanna found the text message and reacted the way a typical woman in love would.  Apparently Rihanna’s reaction was unacceptable in the eyes of Brown and he chose to punish her for it by beating her just short of causing her eyes to swell shut.  Now that this information has been released, the media is obviously in a frenzy speculating whether Rihanna will take Brown back.  I am sorry to say that this story hits very close to home with me and deeply saddens me for women everywhere.      Every one of us knows at least one woman in our life that is in a relationship that is less than mutual.  We all know the girl that has been in a “committed” relationship for years and still thinking he is going to change.  “As soon as he gets a job promotion, he will have more time for me.”  “He did cheat, but he apologized and I know he’s being sincere.  It will never happen again.”  “We only see each other once a month because he is so busy and I respect that.”  Why are you crazy girls accepting less than you deserve?  Is this the relationship you dreamed about as a little girl?  Did you always know you were destined to be with a man who occasionally had too much to drink on Saturday night and decided to sober himself up by pushing you up against the wall?  In my humble opinion, this is not what you want for your life and you are not happy.  Regardless of the rationalizations you have spent hours on end forming, you want so much more for your life.  So, why are you not going after it?  My simple response to this question is that you don’t think you are good enough for what you really want.  You have chosen to accept your lot in life as a committed girlfriend/wife that does all the work in the relationship. 

Unfortunately, the aforementioned relationships are not the only ones that are cause for concern among women in our society.  There are many out there that are much more like the Brown/Rihanna situation.  I can guarantee that each of us knows at least one woman who is in a physically abusive relationship.  Whether you are aware of it or not, it is happening.    It saddens to me to say that an extremely close friend of mine is dealing with this.  In fact, as I am writing this, she is in labor with a child who is the son of her abuser.  This man has a history with drugs and violence.  He cannot hold down a job because of his temper.  He has repeatedly displayed threatening and abusive behavior.  However, she is convinced that he has found religion and will not behave this way again.  I must admit that I am a die hard fan of Dr. Phil-isms.  One of my favorites rings true in this situation, “You teach people how to treat you.”  Why would he stop being emotionally and physically abusive with my friend if she continually accepts this behavior and takes him back anyway?  Whether he is conscious of it or not, he is very aware of the fact that if he happens to lose his temper again, all he has to do is quote a Bible verse and beg for her forgiveness.  This is the case in many relationships.  Women are repeatedly living in constant fear of their partner.  They accept it because they are convinced that this man loves them enough to change.  Don’t you know how wonderful you are and that you deserve someone who makes you feel safe rather than afraid?

I am in no way suggesting that women are weak individuals.  In fact, I believe the polar opposite to be true.  We are an extremely strong and resilient gender.  However, many times this strength goes unnoticed even to ourselves.  We are often unaware of what we are capable getting through.  We have no idea that if we just stand up for ourselves and what we want, we might just get exactly what we are looking for.